On the Elf…

Advent has finally arrived and we’ve allowed Christmas to fully infiltrate our house! Thank goodness! That waiting was awfully hard for me after such an early Thanksgiving.


IMG_4280IMG_4282I’m feeling good about my new Advent “calendar” tradition I’ve begun; the kids are very excited to see what’s in tomorrow’s envelope. There’s one Christmas tradition I have very mixed feelings about, however. The Elf on the Shelf. If somehow you’ve missed this phenomenon, the idea is this elf hides in your house in a different place each day. Each night, he flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa if you’ve been good or naughty.

I like the idea because it extends the magic and the mystery of Christmas, and I thought the hide-and-seek game of it would be fun. About two years ago, we adopted an elf and named him Stewart. (Confession: Savannah named him after Stuart Little, but she couldn’t spell well yet so I took the liberty of changing the spelling of his name to name him after Jon Stewart, so I guess our little elf is named after two famous short guys…)

IMG_4275The reality of the elf concept falls a little flat.

The biggest problem: you can’t touch the elf. The book stipulates that you must not touch the elf or you might make him loose his Christmas magic and he won’t be able to return to the North Pole anymore. Makes perfect sense. If the kids are playing with it as a toy, it really will loose its “magic.” However, you simply can’t trust a Sammy to resist the urge to touch the elf if it’s possible. So Stewart always has to hide in really high places. The kids know this, and frankly, there are only so many spots up near my ceilings, so it never takes them too long to find the him. There goes the hide-and-seek fun.

It also negates the possibility of doing the vast majority of all those clever ideas on the internet of the elf doing mischievous deeds during the night. Stewart can’t have a date with Barbie or be caught wrapping various household objects in wrapping paper or set up a Thomas the train ride for himself. All these things would require putting him on a fairly large flat surface to have room to set up the scene. I don’t have any large flat surfaces handy near my ceiling.

I tried, the first day he came back this year, to borrow one of those cute ideas. Here’s how this went in my house. Stewart wrote “I’m Back!” in red and green M&Ms on the kitchen table before perching on the light fixture above it. Felix, our cat, thought the M&Ms made lovely toys, so he had a jolly good time batting them around the house, leaving everyone perplexed where the huge mess came from in the morning. Later in the day, Felicity was the first to notice Stewart. This was adorable, and the most redeeming moment the elf has had this year. She jumped with joy and told him she loved him and was so glad to have him back. Later when I was upstairs moving laundry she yelled for me that Stewart was in danger… because Sammy had taken a vacuum attachment and poked him. He would have fallen to his doom and the sure loss of his magic if he hadn’t been securely hugging one of the candles.

So Stewart stays up high, hides in the same reliable places in turn, and doesn’t try any of the cutesy stuff anymore. I’m just not feeling the magic. Remembering to move him and trying to find good places for him to hide is a real chore. And, inevitably I suppose, the kids use references to him to threaten each other if someone is being naughty or unkind. Stewart the enforcer; that’s no fun. Actually, they still seem to enjoy him. They surely were looking for him and anticipating his return well before I was ready to bring him back, so maybe it’s just me in an elf funk. I just hope that when they get older they’ll remember Stewart as something fun, not as a lame tool I tried to use to make them behave because that was never what I intended.

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